Exposure...No One Knows The Heart, But God!

"Hi De...Who?....Who Is This???"

Psalms 139:1-4,23-24

1.O LORD, you have examined me, and you know me.
2. You alone know when I sit down and when I get up. You read my thoughts from far away.
3.You watch me when I travel and when I rest. You are familiar with all my ways.
4.Even before there is a [single] word on my tongue, you know all about it, LORD.....
23.Examine me, O God, and know my mind. Test me, and know my thoughts.
24.See whether I am on an evil path. Then lead me on the everlasting path.

Recently, during my conversation with the God, who I interchangeably call Daddy when I'm praying, expressed my desire to Him to come up higher in the things of God. I wanted The Holy Spirit to expose anything within the closets of my heart I wasn't aware of and needed to be destroyed. I did not want anything within my heart to hinder what the Lord has called me to do.

Being with myself for fifty and some years, I've discovered I still do not know everything about myself. Just when I've thought I'm finally over an issue, usually it's an offense... as in someone stepping on my heart, toes, finger,etc... You know anything concerning me and available to step on feet,hand,heart,etc..(and when in my self pity mode, walking in the flesh mode, my soul will exaggerate LOUDER...stomped on!). Sometimes, I would go weeping to the Lord desiring comfort. Only to discover, He wasn't as sympathetic as I would have liked. Instead, He would take me to the wood shed of my mind to give good counsel (rebuking, correcting, loving and encouraging me), revealing He is doing a good work and was burning away the dross of stubbornness and pride. Now grant it, most of the exposing of the sins of my heart, which I later titled the 'search and destroy missions', came in full force during the course of my marriage. And I'm still visiting the wood shed with Daddy... Abba... my Lord. And Praise the Lord, it is not as frequent. One might say, I've suffered to obedience. However, unlike Christ Jesus who was without sin. I was guilty and totally deserved being chastised. Yet, I thank God for the sufficiency of His mercy and grace. Did I say anything about His Love and Patience towards me, for you see I was really as stubborn as a mule. Well, that's another story.

So there we were, God and I communicating, and I believed He was happy with this request. And I of course, thinking He'll expose something about me not making better use of my time, or not keeping various rooms in the house in order. After all, how could Jerry think in that messy room he calls an office. I don't know about you, but I am happy when I've finally have overcome an area of weakness...as in excessive spending (Praise The Lord I'm Freed Of That One, Praise The Lord For Contentment). Surely, it could not be a love issue, as in pure agape. After all, everyone (family members, friends and acquaintances) I inventoried in my mind of , regardless of the differences we sometimes had in the past, did not stir any vexation in my soul. Which meant to me I did not have any ought or outstanding emotional debt (anger, unforgiveness, bitterness, etc...) to settled. Yep, I just sat there and listened for His voice to reveal what was hidden within the closets of my heart. I wanted to acknowledge the pest, repent and exterminate it with the help of The Holy Spirit. But He was silent and I left dissatisfy, yet knowing He would reveal what was up within my heart at His appointed time.

As my busy life would have it, I continue to do my daily prayers, studying, working and living life with my best friend and hubby Jerry. Then one day going through my inbox I received an e-mail from a sister in Christ Jesus, to give her a call at the given phone number. So, I called and a man answered the phone and I left a message for him to tell her I was calling her as she requested. Hours later the phone call would be returned and this would be God's appointed time to reveal what was hidden in one of closet of my heart.

Jerry and I were just relaxing, when the phone ringed. I noticed it was the phone number of the person who had requested that I called. 'Hi there, I was pleasantly surprised to receive your e-mail to give you a call. Is everything alright?" I asked.

"Oh, Dolli thank you for calling me...
"Oh, who is this?"
"You, know _____"
"Oh, I don't why I thought it was____? I guess I did not read the email correctly." I replied.

At first I was a bit shocked this person would want to speak to me. The the last time we spoke I openly rebuked her in private about how we're suppose to encourage one another and not tear one another down as sisters. I went to her in love and encouraged to stop spreading fabrications and gossip about fellow co-workers, that we're Christians and we don't want to cause others to stumble. Soon, I was to become the object of her wrath, and acid tongue.

Because we're commanded to forgive, as any practicing Christian would do, I did. Yet, looking back I realize I quickly made a decision to forgive her with my intellect, more so than with my heart. Which explained the vexation in my soul every time I saw her at work. Hating feeling vexed and to help me walk in love, I purposed to avoid ever having to be in her presence. Suddenly, I realized after not having to see her in months...then years (because she had to leave because of medical) I had truly forgiven her.

Yes, it was great, when people made mentioned of her name my heart no longer grieved, nor did I have to walk away to protect my testimony, guarding my speech...escaping any temptation to speak ill of her. I didn't want to disappoint Daddy (God) holding on to hurt. So I made it a point to constantly search my heart for anyone I might have ought with, so I could get things right in my heart. I purposed myself to walk in a state of forgiveness... after all God forgives me. Yet, sometimes it truly easier said than done. This why I ask Daddy...God for help in exposing my heart to myself (I am to close to myself to see).

I remember as if it were just moments ago, when I heard some mentioned her name. Because I hadn't heard her name in years, it was like Wow! I didn't even feel a twinge in heart... until, they said she was back from a medical leave. Suddenly, I who rarely enter into other's conversations blurted out, "Did you say ____ is coming back? But, why? Shouldn't she be retiring?" Suddenly, I was somewhat displeased. Why did she have to comeback I asked myself. I was truly upset with my reaction, because it was selfish and just plain ungodly.

I kept talking to the Lord about my heartstrings, apparently there was some residue of bitterness. So I just kept asking for God's help to arrest my stinking thinking and change my heart.

The day came when I saw her face to face. I was shocked, I was sincerely happy to see her. I even felt pure agape(love) towards her. She seemed different, not physically as much as spiritually. I don't know what she went through while away, but there was something different. Then again, I had prayed that God would change my heart towards her, because I did not do a good job before before. Apparently I must had done it in my own strength.

Finally, I felt relieved. This time I knew I was truly delivered from the sin of unforgiveness towards this sister. However, when that call came through, I had almost forgot what I had asked of Daddy...God. "To expose anything in my heart that should not be there". It was to be moments after the call, that it occurred to me maybe the phone call was used as a gauge to verify my heart condition, whether or not all traces of bitterness were eliminated. God knew, but He want me to know.

I thank God for His wisdom to have the sister who I had thought wanted me to call her send me the e-mail. God in His mercy knew that if it were the individual I had actually spoken to, I might have made excuses as why not to respond to her request to call her. In fact, I got mad because I thought the sister who wrote the e-mail have not mentioned the person's name knowing I might not call. Which is why I went back and re-read the e-mail, only to discover I read it too fast and over looked the person's name. Wow, confirming God intended me to have an encounter... conversation with her.

So when I recognized the voice of the person speaking with me , I was stunned for a quick second, hoping to respond with concern and care. I continue to monitor my emotions and everything was sincerely at peace within me. When she shared her situation. I was amazed by the compassion the Lord stirred within my heart. After listening, I offered several solutions and asked if I could pray for the Lord's intervention and blessings over her. I believed she was so shocked, that she couldn't speak. Then she just keep thanking me. But, like we all know and I told her, it wasn't me. It was truly the Lord and I was being obedient to His voice because He loves her and cares. But He did it for me too. By praying for her I was truly released from any residue of resentment and bitterness. I was freed. That area in the closet of my heart was truly cleaned, replaced with His Love.

God is so G-o-o-d! He wants His children in the Body of Christ whole and walking in pure agape (love) on one accord through Christ Jesus.
~Dolli

• Romans 12:14:
• Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.

How Do You Love Someone Who Backbites, Gossips & Betrays You?

Betrayal... Backbiters & Gossipers

I continued studying the Book of Luke today. I was in Chapter 6 where the Jesus was making statements about loving others, especially one's enemies. Pondering over the verses brought a few past friends and acquaintances across my mind. Jesus said it right that loving people who are wonderful to you is easy to do, and I've discovered for me to do it properly takes help. Therefore, I realize it truly takes help to love enemies. Yet, I'm ashamed to admit in the past it would have been easier for me to love and forgive an enemy than a person who I once fellowship with and considered closer than a sister or brother. Yes, that was very difficult to obey. After all, I was always there for them in their time of need. I would overlook their cutting remarks and their unavailability when I really needed them. But to discover all the awful things they said, thought about me behind my back!!!!! Yep, that is a hard pill to swallow. So what does one do?

Well, just know I feel for all who've been betrayed. I've been there more times than I want to count. After all, I'm quite seasoned in life (meaning in my fifties). Now, I'm not going to assume everyone who comes across this blog is a Christian, therefore I need to alert you I am giving you insight from a biblical viewpoint.

I've learned how to overcome many disappointments in life by studying the life of Jesus Christ. After all, He was truly compassionate and full of love. He did not get what He deserved. However, I on the other hand... well, just say I should have gotten worse than I deserve. To get back to Jesus.

Jesus walked among various groups of people during His day, but He selected His close companions carefully. He did not fellowship on a personal basis with everyone. He shared some special stories about His future with His closest friends. These friends where very protective of Him, for they observed how unpopular He was with the leaders of their day. One can assume they are truly great friends because they never shun Him, nor avoided associating with Him in the presence of these so called popular leaders.

Would you consider yourself to be such a friend? Well, I by nature am usually for those who are disadvantaged, I can't stand to see people mistreating others who think themselves superior. Though rejected by His peers, Jesus certainly was not disadvantaged, I still would hope to have been such friend to Him.

Jesus, unlike you and I, had the ability to know what people were thinking. You see He truly was the Only Begotten Son of God. He was given power from above to do miraculous works that no individual could do on earth, but God. *For it is written that no one knows the spirit of man but God. Being so, Jesus knew the heart (the spirit) of every person He chose to be His friend. In fact, Jesus chose a man named Judas not only to be in His close circle of friends, but to handle the monies of the group. Jesus, knowing every one's heart condition knew that Judas had an issue with thievery. In fact, Jesus knew before Judas was in this circle of friends, because he knew Judas' heart and thoughts, even that Judas would betray him for some coins.

If you looked back at some of those so called friends, knowing about them as you do now, would you have selected them to be in your inner circle of friendships? Well, I can honestly say no. But, now understanding how God uses every circumstance in our life to cry out to Him, even bad choices in friendships to eventually correct a heart issue in us.

Well, Jesus understanding the ending in full view of what this scoundrel of a friend would do to Him, chose to walk in love with Him. Yes, Jesus showed Judas the same care He displayed towards all His friends. He never talked behind their backs. He openly confronted them in their face, whether someone was there or not. They always knew where He was with them... and that was in a state of unconditional love, tender mercies, loving kindness and open rebuke.

Now when He was betrayed in the end by Judas, as well as, being denied by another so called close friend, Peter (who promised to never deny knowing Him) He did not show any malice towards them. Even when He was pierced on the Cross for the sins of Judas, Peter, Me, You and All Mankind, He spoke no hateful words. Instead, He cried out to His Father Which Art In Heaven, petitioning : "FATHER FORGIVE THEM, FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO."

WOW!!!!

You better believe me, even now... no, it doesn't take as long, but I too have learned and I'm still learning to say "Father forgive (who ever the person... sometimes myself (ha,ha,ha) for they know not what they do, if you can forgive me for what I do or not do, how can I not forgive them.

Just realize there are people out there who do not know how to be true friends. It is only by the Grace of God if you've learn to be such a friend. As for myself, it is only by God's Grace and studying the Life of Jesus that I've becoming that kind of friend I would like to have... you know like Jesus (smile).

So whether you're a Christian or Not, read the book of John and see What Would Jesus Do. Just realize you can not practice What Would Jesus Do, without the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to help you.

If you're wondering how to obtain the empowerment of the Holy Spirit then read below what was written in the Book of Romans (Chapter 10:8-13).

Romans(chapter 10:8-13):
8. However, what else does it say? "This message is near you. It's in your mouth and in your heart." This is the message of faith that we spread.
9. If you declare that Jesus is Lord, and believe that God brought him back to life, you will be saved.
10.By believing you receive God's approval, and by declaring your faith you are saved.
11.Scripture says, "Whoever believes in him will not be ashamed."
12.There is no difference between Jews and Greeks. They all have the same Lord, who gives his riches to everyone who calls on him.
13.So then, "Whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."

Now when you've received Jesus The Christ As Your Lord & Savior, seek out a bible believing teaching Church in your area. If you look to the right, you discover a wealth of Bible Programs, so call their numbers and inquire who they would suggest in your area.


Then one day you'll be equipped to follow through on doing what is stated in Romans 10:14-15,as a follower of Christ Jesus. May the Lord Anoint you with the desire to seek the broken hearted and oppressed poor hurting soul. Maybe, the friend that betrayed you, for you're now equipped and empowered by the Holy Spirit working in your & through your heart to move in divine forgiveness as you've been forgiven.

Romans 10:14-15
14.But how can people call on him if they have not believed in him? How can they believe in him if they have not heard his message? How can they hear if no one tells [the Good News]?
15.How can people tell the Good News if no one sends them? As Scripture says, "How beautiful are the feet of the messengers who announce the Good News."


Well that's all folks, remember it impossible to forgive and walk in divine love without the help of Jesus, with God all things is possible!

~Dolli

So What If We Don't Agree...Let's Purpose To Be At Peace With One Another

Today in reading Luke 5:1-39, I became convicted in my heart for judging the motives of my sisters and brothers in Christ Jesus about their choice of candidate for the Presidential Election. I had arrogantly assumed their 'wrong selection of their candidate of choice' was based upon their fear of the economical situation. Therefore, blindly forgetting what 'I believed to be' more important: a candidate's position on abortion.

So reading about how the Pharisees constantly followed Jesus around to disprove His position as the Messiah or that He was of God, to the point of lying on him...accusing of Him of false motives for doing what He was doing, made me angry. Suddenly, I was being convicted by way of another story in the Old Testament. Where Nathan the Prophet told King David a story about a person doing an selfish act against another. The story stirred such anger in Davids soul only to be rebuked by the Prophet (hopefully in love) that the story was about him, King David. David in shame repented for his sin. So the story in Luke 5 convicted me about my self-righteous attitude. Convicted (yep, The Holy Spirit will not let me continue in sinful attitudes), I had to search my heart and asked myself if I was doing the same to those who do not agree with me on my position as who should be elected for President.

Can I read their hearts...I'm I God? NOT!
Is it worth our not being in peaceful fellowship? NOT!

Oh, how I love the way the Lord keeps my heart and attitude right towards Him... towards all. What would I do without Him? So in humility I repent of my bad attitude. But, how did this bad attitude developed?

My sin of judging began when I found difficulty believing that they (a fellow believer in Christ Jesus) could vote for someone who did not acknowledge that life began at conception. After all, isn't that more important than the present economical conditions? I began doing what I hate people doing to me at times, judging me from afar and thinking the worst, without getting close up and personal to discover who I am. So it truly vexed my soul to find myself becoming judgemental and critical of their reasoning and distaste for my candidate of choice...thinking them blindsided by the opposing candidate based upon his charm and eloquent speech. Yep, I was wrong to judge my fellow saints on their spiritual position. Only to realize we all see dimly and are at different levels of our walk. Never the less, I will still elect a candidate based upon their Pro Life position... choosing life and not choice. But who am I to judge who they vote for? I'll leave that to God our creator of heaven and earth.

Yep, I had to examine myself and the anger I felt towards saints who were electing a Pro-Choice candidate...though he never admitted it. Where is that mercy and grace I'm always talking about displaying towards all? Where's the love shed abroad in my heart...extending into the lives of those who disagree with my point of view. I had to come to my senses and realize these differences in who we elect for president has no bearing of my friendship and walking in agape towards all. Political views do not super cede the great commission of winning souls for Christ Jesus. I'm called to be at peace with all people as much as possible, especially those of the household of the Christian faith.

Therefore, I've come to terms that it is not my position to convince someone to change their opinion as who to vote for. Especially, my Christian brothers and sisters. I've decided they have the same right to choose as I have and their choice does not negate their faith in Christ Jesus. But, I will continue to encourage everyone to listen to the voice of the Lord in the ballot booth and select the candidate based on the Lord's Truth and not by our finite emotions.

God is in control and He is able to allow everything the enemy meant for evil to turn around for our good. Jesus is Lord and if I believe it, then I need to show it more by not worrying about the outcome of the election.

If God could use an unsaved king (King Cyrus to bless Israel), then He can use whatever King (President) to do His bidding on behalf of a repentant nation. May we continue to pray for our nation to repent from unrighteousness, remembering righteousness exalts a nation. Of course, to me Jesus Is Our Righteousness.

Oh God Have Mercy On Us All,
Allowing Healing Between The Saints On Opposing Sides To Occur Now, Before And After The Election...Giving No Place To The Devil To Conquer & Divide... May We All Remember To Pray For Whatever Candidate Is Elected... For This Is A Command (To Pray For Our Leaders) Amen

~Dolli